My daughter is getting married this week, so marriage advice is on my mind. Although no one has asked for it yet, . . . what advice would I give for a long and happy marriage?
1- Every marriage is unique. Because marriages are made up of unique individuals, no two marriages will “look” alike. Rather than modeling your marriage after ones you admire, seek to honor God in your marriage. Read the Word to find out what HE expects of you and pursue it heartily. Then you can be confident that no matter how your marriage “looks,” you are on the right path.
2- Marriage is all about unity - the two becoming one. Our independent culture is antithetical to unity. Interdependence is what you want to strive for, both in your marriage and in your walk with Christ. Yes, it is true that from now on you must consider someone else in your every decision. On the other hand, you will never again have to face any decision alone. It is all in your perspective.
3- Forgiveness is key in every relationship, but especially in marriage. Two sinners living in such close proximity are bound to step on each other’s toes. In your first couple of years, your two independent personalities will be bumping into each other as you are learning to create your “unity rhythm.” Holding on to bitterness and rehearsing wrongs (even if just in your mind) undermines your unity as a couple. Think of them as poisons that need to be expelled.
In short, the key to a long and happy marriage is to honor God with your every thought, your every word and your every deed. If your thoughts and deeds honor God, they will honor your spouse and support unity. If your spouse feels honored and supported, then they are sure to respond in kind. And tell each other “I love you” often; it never gets old.